Damn

Let me start by saying something and then I will get into what has happened. I have never been unfaithful to my wife and that is not what this is about I have lived and will live every day of our marriage (life) as a faithful husband...

I messed up, I am generally a person of logic and when I'm not my wife brings me back to the real world. The second part of that is the trick, you see. All things in my life I consult my wife except this time. I did not mean to diminish her role in our relationship, hell she's the brains of the operation so in no way would I want to take anything from her. On the morning of July 2nd I made a decision without her and it hurt her and in that it hurt me. I didn't mean to hurt her, i didn't mean to leave her out I just made a call feeling as if she would be expecting me to make it. Boy was I wrong. I came home and told her that I had quit my job with no warning and waamo! Something I wasn't expecting happened. I saw my reflection shrink in my wife's eyes, I saw her think less of me than she had ever thought of anything sense we have been married. I instantly realized she was shutting down and locking me out of her mind. She didn't care about the job it was the fact that I had left her out of such a big decision for our family ( currently just 2 of us but one day more ). How could I have done that? Why would I not consult her? What in the hell is going on in my mind? All of these things instantly entered my mind. I could see in her eyes that I had damaged the trust that I have worked our whole marriage to gain and protect and I hated myself for it. She always has looked at me like I was a victorious night riding home from battle in shinning armor on a bad ass horse and now in one stroke ( of my own) I had been demoted to the poor bastard that had to push the cart with the dead people on it. There is nothing I can say that can tell her how I feel. There is nothing I can do to undo what is done. But let me tell you this I will be looked at as that night again, I will be victorious in life (battle) and I will treat her like a queen as she deserves to be treated. She is the most important person in this world to me. I would die without hesitation for if need be. This woman is the love of my life and she can do no wrong in my eyes. I love her with all of my heart and will work till my the day I die trying to never see that look again on her face.

Wish me luck never land.